Francessca Wilson

Eng 112

Dr. Frank S. Pittman, a M.D. in Psychiatry tells of the ups and downs of being in “Romantic Love” in his article “Just In Love”. The article is in response to an article by Henry Grunebaums article about “Romantic Love”. These two author have very different views on romantic love and it’s place in a relationship. Dr. Pittman writes that romantic love should be viewed as a form of absurdity. He also writes that romantic love requires complete sacrifice from the people who are in a relationship. Dr. Pittman reports that love can cause lives, sanity and body parts to be sacrificed while in a romantic relationship. Dr. Pittman also writes that couples who don’t sacrifice anything for romance have lasting but unromantic relationships, they just coexist. Pittman seems to believe that romantic love does not sustain a relationship and that in-loveness does more harm that good in a relationship. Pittman writes that some people use romantic love as a cure for depression or to cure loneliness. Pittman reports that the idea of romantic love lasting forever is a fantasy and anyone who believe that it will last is fooling themselves. Pittman writes that romantic love is an intrusion in ones life and that much sacrifice will be needed to bring this type of relationship into reality. In the article the Dr. also talks about infidelity and how that affects a relationship. Pittman reports that affairs can happen in any marriage. He believes that it’s the secrecy that brings the problems in the marriage. He believes that after infidelity couples should be open and begin the healing process to salvage the marriage. One of the main points of the article is that people tend to put too much of an expectation on what a relationship will do for them. He believes that this expectation is what caused problems is the relationship. Pittman writes that marriage is not intended to make a person happy but to make them married. Pittman writes that romantic love will not bring a person out of a state of depression. Overall Pittman writes that romantic love has no place in a relationship and that undue expectations will destroy a marriage. He also writes that the main components of a relationship should be companionship, friendship, support and understanding and that the illusion of a lifetime of romance will not sustain a relationship.

I thinks that Dr. Frank Pittman makes some very valid points in his article. I absolutely believe that being in love will require some type of sacrifice from one of the persons involved. Pittman writes that he thinks romantic love is absurd but, In my opinion there is a place for romantic love in a relationship. I think that should be the starting point of the relationship but then you have to work towards being friendship, companionship and understanding. I don’t think that having just romantic love will sustain a relationship because that can grow old real quick. You cant just be “In Love” all of the time. I also agree that secrets can destroy a relationship but, if you want to stay in the relationship there will be some type of sacrifice that one of those persons will have to make. In my opinion Dr. Pittman seems to be very bitter when it comes to romantic love. I think that romantic love does have a place in a relationship. Without romantic love most relationships would feel like that of roommates. Dr. Pittman talks about the sacrifices that people have made in relationships but, those are extreme cases made by some fictional characters. I do believe that people make sacrifices and will always make sacrifices If they desire a relationship with someone. I agree with the Dr. Pittman when he writes that the secrets of infidelity will destroy a relationship. If you decide to stay in a relationship after an affair, there will always be the issue of trust and if the root of the infidelity is not solved I don’t think the relationship will last. I absolutely agree that a person cannot use a relationship as a way to make them happy. When you place this type of expectation on a relationship it will be doomed. Overall Dr. Pittman makes some very valid points and arguments but he seems to be putting people down who believe in love.

References:

Pittman, Frank S.(1997) Just in Love. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.

Francessca Wilson

Eng 112

In the article “ A Modest Proposal: Should We Change our Minds About Infanticide”? the author Bruce Chapman suggest that basically “sugar coat” some very taboo topics. He makes some very valid points about how we look at Infanticide. The author states that our society mourns the death of a newborn until the next big story comes along. He also acknowledges that we tend to have much pity for the living parents. The article also talks about the fact that we don’t see newborns as a group of people that have a right to life, we don’t see newborns as humans. Chapman also references the article by Steven Pinker: “Why They Kill Their Newborns” and does not seem to agree with some of his ideas about the subject. He seems to disagree with the idea of “natural selection” . Chapman seems to think that the article contains some “pseudo science”. In this article the author seems to want to make us aware that we all have a right to life and that we have morals embedded in us to be able to make that decision on behalf of those who are not able to.

I feel that this article challenges some of the ideas in Pinkers article. I agree when he states that we don’t view newborns as humans. I have a big problem with the idea of a newborn not being a viable human being. I also like the fact that he challenges the “natural selection” theory. I feel that this practice may have been “OK” hundreds of years ago but, not in this day and time. This is something that animals in the wild practice. This article brings up a point when he suggest that calling newborns “Neonates” makes it seem that they are something other than humans. I feel that we have a responsibility to protect those who are not able to protect themselves. I don’t feel that humans are disposable. I not sure why we would have to debate this subject because our environment and living conditions are much different that what our ancestors had to deal with. No child should be a burden.

Francessca Wilson

Eng 112

Steven Pinkers article “Why They Kill Their Newborns” talks about several reasons why women kill their newborns. The article tells us that it’s been in a woman instincts since the hunter-gather days. Pinker suggests it’s done for reasons of survival or to a way to get rid of the weak. The article also gives us the idea that when a child is born they are somewhat different than a child that has lived for some time. He calls this stage of life “Neonates”. He also tells us that children who are killed but are more that one day old is called “Filicide”. The article tells us that as a society we tend to have much sympathy for those moms who have killed their newborns. According to the article most of these moms are not sent to jail and suffer very little punishment. This article makes reference to practices that were done by our early ancestors which was an environment that we no longer have is this country. This article does not really give a clear understanding of how the writer stands on the issue of killing newborns.

In response to Pinkers article I believe that we have too many options for unwanted babies in this country. I have absolutely no sympathy for a person that would kill their newborn. I feels like these “Prom Moms” are just spoiled and selfish people who are only thinking of themselves. If I was a judge at one of these trials I would give them to stiffest penalty possible. I just fell like you made the choice to create the child but, when it came down to the responsibility they thought of it as a burden. I really don’t think that in this day in time that it’s part of our nature to kill our newborns. If that is the case we would not be any better than animals in the wild. Our society today in no way compares to years past, we are no longer Hunter-Gathers. I don’t think that a newborn should be looked at differently because of the amount of time they have spent on this earth. I feel that murder is murder and a mother had nine months to come up with something to do with that newborn if she felt it was a burden. I can’t understand the point of this article, why are we even trying to justify killing a newborn?

ENG 112

Francessca Wilson

The question that is always on my mind is, what is a good reason for getting married? I don’t know anything about being married because I am single, but I always think to myself why would I get married. I cannot come up with any good reasons for myself for getting married. I guess most people would say you marry for love and companionship but, I don’t feel that you have to be married to have those things. High divorce rates, infidelity and oppression is what I think about when it comes to marriage. I guess some people have to get married for economic reasons and some for religious

reasons. I always feel that if you get married, and there is a background reason as to why your are getting married, the marriage is doomed. Some people claim that love is their reason for getting married but in my opinion you do not have to get married to love someone. I feel that our society puts undue pressure on getting married but, I don’t see the same pressure put on infidelity and divorce. Sometimes I strongly feel that it was not meant for us to get married. It is extremely hard for two people to come together and live in peace and harmony until they die. I understand that being married is more favorable in our society because when you are single people think something is wrong in your life.

I feel that the topic of marriage is interesting because, I am single and everyone around me is married. I often think to myself why am I not married? I still cannot come up with any good reasons as to why I need to get married. I am able to support myself, I have companionship, I have love and I also have freedom. All of my friends are married and some are good and some are bad marriages. I feel that they all got married for some other reason than love. Most of the people I know got married for economic reasons. They needed a way out. I know that many will disagree with me and say that love is the main reason but, why would you cheat on someone that you love? I strongly feel that marriage can oppress some woman if they are not careful. I have friends who are absolutely miserable being married but, they stay married because they do not want to

give up their lifestyle. I guess this bothers me because I feel why not get that lifestyle on your own? I feel that there is nothing that you can’t achieve just because you are single. I guess I will never really understand marriage until I actually get married but, I will always say to myself why am I getting married and this may cause me to rethink the marriage idea.

ENG 112Francessca WilsonPrewriting part I  I believe that people are very selfish and greedy.I believe that society will crumble if we continue our current way of life.I believe that government lacks integrity.I believe that justice is not fair to certain groups of people.I believe that knowledge is empowerment and very necessary.I believe that science is necessary and still has many mysteries.I believe that reality is hard for some people to face.I believe that life is very precious and everlasting.I believe that happiness is attainable.I believe that goodness is fading away.I believe that death is not the end.I believe that God is awesome and forgiving.             I believe that happiness is attainable if you change your way of thinking. I think that if people would learn to let go of things and stuff they could start living happier lives. I believe that most people let their emotions run their lives and are not able to think themselves to a happier frame of mind. Happiness can be a way of life if you think it can be. I think that we walk around with broken hearts about things that have happened and we are just not able to let them go. Why would you carry around so much baggage and let it make you unhappy? I personally feel happy everyday a soon as I wake up and my feet touch the ground. I feel that I don’t have the right to be unhappy about anything because there are people who are so much worse off than I am.  My belief about happiness came when I stopped letting my emotions run my life. I was able to realize that I had no control over some of the things that I would be unhappy about. I have had many adversities in my life that I had to overcome in order to get to this point in my life. I truly had to leave the past behind me, step away from some things and get my emotions in check before I could understand that I could have a life that included some happiness. I absolutely had to go through a process before I began feeling happy. I believe that it worked because I refused to be anything but happy. My belief in Jesus Christ is an absolute contribution to my happiness. I really have a very optimistic frame of mine. I absolutely believe that people could be happy if they wanted to be happy. In my opinion I feel it’s all in what you think.             I know that there are many people who think that happiness does not exist and that there is no way that I could feel the happiness that I feel. I think that some people love to be miserable and just always live in self pity. I think that if it was not for unhappiness some people would not have anything to talk about in their lives. I can absolutely understand why some people think that happiness is something that’s not  attainable because they don’t thinks it’s possible to be any other way but unhappy. In my opinion there are people who want to be miserable so they can use that as an excuse to not have to do anything positive with their lives. I also know that there are people who do not share my belief in Jesus Christ and that there is no happiness in believing in him.  I think that some people would disagree with me when I say you can think your way to being happy. They may feel that they have too many disappointments in their lives to every think about happiness. Why would they want to be happy when unhappiness is they only thing they have going in their lives? I realize that there are pessimistic people that think nothing good will ever happen to them; they are doomed and will never be happy.  My belief is that if you want different results in your life you would just start thinking a different way. I know that some people think that this is too simple and would never work in their lives because they have so much going on. I believe that there are many people that will completely disagree with my thinking and have no idea what it feels like to be happy.                 

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